Fairness in Couple Therapy

Have you ever sat with a couple in therapy who expresses confusion or frustration by saying, “It’s just not fair”? This sentiment often arises in discussions about emotional labor, parenting roles, finances, or who makes the effort to reconnect after conflicts. Fairness appears in many forms during couples therapy, but what does it mean, and how can therapists address it effectively? Let’s explore what research and clinical experience reveal about fairness in couples therapy.

Fairness Isn’t About 50/50 — It’s About Perceived Equity
Much of the research on this topic stems from equity theory, which suggests that individuals feel most satisfied in relationships when their contributions and rewards feel roughly equal to them. It’s not about keeping score; rather, it’s about feeling that there’s mutual investment.

Read more from Dominic Gadoury HERE.